I so badly need help and i just dont know what to do ...?

my dad died when i was 8 and my mum died when i was 12 i am now 18 both my parents were alcoholics but they werent together dont get me wrong my mum was the most amazing person in the world and i admire her so much but i havent turned out exactly amazing i was fine till i got to 16 then everything got worse i slit my wrists and i cant stop i stopped for 4 months and i was so happy but i got drunk and i have done it again i have seen 3 different counsellors and i just dont know what to do! i am not an emo and i hate stereotypes so please dont patronize me i need some serious answers please cananyone shed some light!!!